I am currently looking after and caring for a 99 year-old, whilst shielding from this frightful virus. I must say the combination makes it the hardest thing I have ever done in my life.
I have survived 3 marriages and their traumas. I have brought up a family single-handed without maintenance and support. Survived injury and fractures and life’s ups and downs, but this is something else.
Being shut in with no mental space, support or let up is never-ending and extremely hard. Especially as we are now told it will continue longer.
My companion is a spirited lady who believes the world revolves around her, her wishes and requirements, mostly to the exclusion of everything else. Her hair which is usually kept beautifully with the help of her hairdresser is her biggest bug-bare, and mine, for that matter! The house is constantly filled with the fumes of her hair spray, which isn’t helpful for my lung condition.
Sadly her feet are also sore as the chiropodist is unable to visit at the moment, which is hard for her together with failing eyesight, poor balance and extreme deafness. She refuses even considering a hearing aid, which leaves me hoarse by the end of the day trying to communicate, as she mostly misshears what I have said.
Whilst I want the best for her and to give her the happiest end to her life; as she was desperate not to go into a home as many elderly are. The commitment needed is huge; it is not as easy as you think. She has become much more difficult than she appeared a year ago when she was in her flat, at the same time defiant and vulnerable, probably due to feeling her lack of control within her life and situations.
I must say for her age she is extremely healthy with a good appetite, but of course she has her specific menus she likes, definitely good plain food, and as for me thinking I can shop locally, if products have the wrong manufactures label on it is a constant cause of distain!
So folks whatever your good intentions, before you think you will do the right thing for your aged relative, something you would love to do to help them and give them the love and support they need at the end of their lives, consider if you have sufficient stamina. Think carefully because it is much harder than you think. You are on call 24/7 even during the night, and if they fall you need the physical strength do pick them up, or to watch them on the floor until help or an ambulance arrives.
So well done to all those carers out there, I’m thinking of you!